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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

An email gem

My friend J forwarded me a funny email with all kinds of rando-thoughts. I engaged in the cliché practice of LOLing numerous times after resting my eyes on this diddy (the real LOL, not to be confused with the one mentioned below). See some of my favorites:
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Random Thoughts of the Day:

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? What!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the [heck] was going on when I first saw it.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

oops

Dear owner of Tabu,

I am sorry I danced. No, really. I am.
Monday, August 17, 2009

M.I.A.- My blog status not the insane airport

I know. Before last week’s post, I was absolutely missing in action. In analogous terms- I am the wedgie in a Victoria Secret photo shoot. I am the nutritionist in a Hershey’s chocolate bar quality control evaluation. I am the psycho girlfriend at a guys’ night out. Basically, I am a buzz kill blogger.

At first, I was just not in the mood, but then, I felt so guilty about the neglect that it spiraled a little out of control.

My last two months in 250 words or less: After leaving Charlotte, I R&Red in Florida for a week before starting my second clerkship of the summer, this time in South Carolina. This past month has been a blur of briefs, memos, and happy hours. I enjoyed an amazing trip to D.C. where I pretty much assumed the role of your standard tourist, visiting all the monuments and such. I also LOVED Georgetown. Why didn’t anyone tell me they had an H&M there? The cruelty…

In reading news, I finished Chelsea Handler’s, My Horizontal Life. Hysterical. I mean, call your friend and read her/him paragraphs out of various chapters, hysterical. Guys and gals alike would enjoy. My friend T picked it up one night and expressed his manly seal of approval. I also read (don’t judge) Lauren Conrad’s, LA Candy.I must say, despite its lackluster reviews, I was pleasantly surprised. I don’t necessarily believe I gained any IQ points reading that book (apparently the critics were expecting such), but it was entertaining. It sorta helped me understand the almost impossible to understand life of a reality t.v. star- one that I would not mind entering myself. Is there anyone out there interested in filming Real Life: I am a 3L? Kidding. But, I do promise there is a lot of drama, more than you would ever imagine…

Now, it is back to my reality. We start school on Thursday (MY LAST YEAR OF LAW SCHOOL EXCLAMATION POINT) My mom is here helping me get my life together. She drove nine hours from Florida. She is amazing.

What has everyone else been up to?


P.S. Final word count: 265. I lied.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Chat Less Kathy


Delinquent Blogger Alert. I think this one rises to the level of a felony, friends. I think anything over one month deserves a scarlet "F". I PROMISE that I will post after this weekend. I am still working, and I am studying in the PM for a test I have to take Friday morning. Then, it is off to D.C. to visit my bro for the weekend. When I get back, expect a full report. There. It is in writing. I am completely obligated. Till then!


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